First Class

A Journal of Student Writing

The Best of Core 101 and 102
at Duquesne University
1997-1998

Erica Lesko

9/12/97

Paper #1

Two Moms or Two Dads

Over the pas couple of decades American society has undergone some vast changes. The concept of the family has been greatly altered. No longer is such emphasis put on the "traditional" family. A majority of children are being raised in single parent households. Single parent adoption rights have been granted. Now an entirely new sort of family is being disputed. Should gays and lesbians be granted the right to adopt a child? Today's view of gays and lesbians is drastically differen t than it was in the past. As more people "come out of the closet" gays and lesbians are becoming more socially accepted. They currently are battling for equality in a variety of areas. In Hawaii gays and lesbians can be granted marriage righ ts, which was a huge victory until DOMA was passed. The Defense of Marriage Act, otherwise known as DOMA, was a bill proposed by conservative Congressmen and Senator Bob Dole. Dole says, "DOMA defines marriage as between one man and one woman for a ll federal purposes (taxes, Social Security, veterans' benefits, etc.) and says that states don't have to pay attention to the Constitution if they don't want to recognize same-sex marriages that are legal in any other state" (Winters 1). President Bill Clinton, who openly expresses his opposition to same-sex marriages, signed the bill making it a law. Gays and lesbians continue to fight. Recently the fights have been centered on adoption. This new dilemma has created quite a stir in society.

It is estimated that the number of children being raised by gay or lesbian parents is between 2 and 6 million. It is extremely hard to get an accurate estimation due to the fact that many gays and lesbias are not open about their family structure. These people do not want to be surveyed for fear of losing their children. In a population where roughly 10% or 25 million people are reported to be homosexual the numbers of those raising children are outstanding (Collum 1).

In most cases everyone just wants what is best for the child. This brings on the question if being raised in a same-sex dominated environment will have a psychological effect on the child. The fact still remains that the traumas and hardships fac ed by both the parents and the children of gay and lesbian households will be totally different from those faced by heterosexual families. This is why many gay and lesbian families keep their family structure so secretive, to avoid the comments, teasing, and publicity surrounding their private lives. Though we all recognize the fact that the traditional view of the family has been altered significantly, can the family be altered to that much of an extent?

Adoption is the only other method for gays and lesbians to acquire children. This is the most difficult, technical, and risky way to have a child. It is so risky because cases can vary depending on the judge's personal views and opinions on this issue. Most courts make their jurisdiction based on what they feel will be the result of a child growing up in a gay or lesbian household. Homosexual couple's custody rights are nearly always at risk in the common jurisdictions. Continually courts rule that a child's best interest is met in the homes of heterosexual parents. One major reasoning for this is due to the fact that though the court does acknowledge that a gay or lesbians' sexuality is beyond their control, living with someone of the same s ex can be controlled. There are five main points that courts generally use when making their jurisdiction in adoption cases and custody/visitation rights:

1. Is the homosexual parent living with his or her lover, and if so will this cause the

child to have learn to adapt to a totally different lifestyle?

` 2. How does society currently view same-sex relationships, and how have courts

recently ruled in similar cases?

3. What would the pressures and problems be placed on the child?

4. Is there an effect of the lack of a role model on the child during formative years?

5. Is the parent/child relationship detrimental if parental rights are terminated?

(Kagan et al. 40-41)

Adoption rights vary greatly from state to state, and as previously stated due to the passing of DOMA states do not have to recognize the adoption rights of same-sex marriages legal in other states. In Pennsylvania there are no laws that specify g ay and lesbian adoption rights. Anyone is eligible to adopt, however, they must go through a court investigation to evaluate the persons suitability of being a parent. In New Hampshire and Florida gays and lesbians can't adopt. Virginia, Arkansas, Miss ouri, and North Dakota feel that gay and lesbian parents are "unfit" (Henry III 67).

In a society that is drastically changing every day, the amount of moral and ethical issues seem virtuously endless. Many older generations argue that the future of our country is in great trouble because of the children today. It is not the chil dren today, it is the way that children are being raised today. Many sociologists argue that children aren't just raised by their parents, but by an entire society. If this is in fact true, then how will a child raised by gay or lesbian parents turn out ? More importantly is the question of how society will treat and respond to a child brought up by gays or lesbians. When a child is involved in any situation the situation is immediately put in a more elevated position. The effect that situations have on children can traumatize them for years. In extreme cases, some adults never fully recover from traumas faced by them during childhood.

In a landmark case that made national headlines, a Virginia judge ruled two lesbians as unfit parents based on the one and only fact that they were lesbians. Sharon Bottom and her lover April Wade had raised Tyler for two years. Sharon had gotten divorced after having Tyler, and April and sharon had lived as though Tyler was their own. Sharon's mother Kay challenged their custody rights and won. After the court case went public, Sharon and April became national symbols. All the Conservatives a pplauded the judge while the Liberals were outraged and exploited the case as being prejudiced. One positive result of the case was the questions it sparked in the minds of those who were ignorant to situations like this. Society began to question thing s like homosexual prejudices, heterosexuals being exposed to homosexual lifestyles, psychologial effects on children, etc. (Henry III 66).

Despite the court rulings and societies' opinions, gays and lesbians are acquiring children. Whether it is from a previous heterosexual marriage gone bad, artificial insemination, an agreement between a gay and lesbian, or co-parent adoption gays and lesbians will continue to fight for their rights and find ways to create a family of their own. The most effective way that seems to meet everyone's needs is co-parent adoption. Perhaps the states that allow co-parent adoption will be more likely to allow complete gay and lesbian adoption rights in the future. This hypothesis seems very probably. Studies are constantly being done to attempt to find the effects on the children of these families. Results of these types of studies vary. It is hard to make accurate assumptions based on the fact that many gay and lesbian families live in secret. We are on the right track with gaining acceptance of homosexual lifestyles, but society still has a long way to go. In my opinion there are four things tha t must be taken into account when considering the issue from a non-biased stand point: 1. The rights of the gays and lesbians; 2. The rights of the child; 3. The way society will treat the child; 4. The psychological effects on the child.

Erica Lesko

10/7/97

Paper #2

Two Moms or Two Dads

The moral and ethical dilemma facing courts and societies today is based on what exactly we call family and how far we are willing to stretch that term. Gays and lesbians are gaining more rights and fighting for equality. They are becoming more s ocially acceptable; however, when it comes to the issue of adoption, many people draw the line. To expose children to that kind of same sex oriented environment as well as the reaction of society towards those children becomes the major issue.

Over the past couple of decades American society has undergone some vast changes. The concept of the family has been greatly altered. No longer is such emphasis put on the "traditional" family. A majority of children are being raised i n single parent, foster parents, and step parents' households. Single parent adoption rights have been granted. Now, an entirely new sort of family is being disputed. Should gays and lesbians be granted the right to adopt a child? Today's views of gay s and lesbians is drastically different than what it was in the past. Gays and lesbians currently are battling for equality in a variety of areas. In Hawaii, gays and lesbians can be granted marriage rights, which was a huge victory until DOMA was passe d. The Defense of Marriage Act, otherwise known as DOMA, was a bill proposed by conservative Congressmen and Senator Bob Dole. According to Dole, "DOMA defines marriage as between one man and one woman for all federal purposes (taxes, Social Securi ty, veterans' benefits, etc.) and says that states don't have to pay attention to the Constitution if they don't want to recognize same-sex marriages that are legal in any other state" (Winters 1). President Bill Clinton, who openly expresses his op position to same-sex marriages, signed the bill making it a law.

Adoption rights vary greatly from state to state, and, as previously stated, due to the passing of DOMA, states do not have to recognize the adoption rights of same-sex marriages legal in other states. In Pennsylvania, there are laws that specify gay and lesbian adoption rights. Anyone is eligible to adopt; however, they must go through a court investigation to evaluate the persons suitability of being a parent. In New Hampshire and Florida, gays and lesbians can't adopt. Virginia, Arkansas, Mi ssouri, and North Dakota feel that gay and lesbian parents are "unfit" (Henry III 67).

There are three main ways that gays and lesbians are raising children and acquiring families without the courts becoming involved. The first way, which is also the most common way, is when heterosexual marriages dissolve after one parent apparentl y "comes out." With this situation, as long as there isn't a messy custody battle in court, most often the child is raised by the gay or lesbian parent, and is also fully aware of his/her parent's sexual tendencies. The second method is lesbia ns receiving artificial insemination. Estimates of the number of children born to be lesbians through artificial insemination range in the tens of thousands. Pacific Reproductive services is a clinic in San Francisco where a growing number of lesbians a re becoming clients. The clinic reports that more than a 100 lesbians use the sperm bank each month. Lastly, there is one of the newer methods: gays and lesbians going into an agreement with each other to produce a child. In some cases they share duti es and custody in raising the child. In other cases, the men or women avoid any attachment with the child at all. In a North Carolina agreement case, a lesbian couple were in search of a sperm donor for five years. Finally, a gay friend agreed to be th e donor. The little girl spends one-third of her time with the gay couple and two-thirds of her time with the lesbian couple. The mother states, "For all of us, it has been a really joyful experience" (Henry III 67-58). Though that particular case seems to be working out, one may wonder what will happen when the child gets a little older and wants to know why she has four parents and why both her moms live together and both her dads live together. Concepts like that may be hard to grasp for a child of any age.

There is one alternative for gays and lesbians to acquire a child that is relatively new. It is called either same-sex adoption, second-parent adoption, or most commonly co-parent adoption. Co-parent adoption is a type of "loop-hole" fo r gays and lesbians seeking to adopt. In these types of adoptions, there is one legal parent and that legal parent consents to the adoption of a co-parent without losing any of his/her legal parental rights. Even in the most recent cases where two biolo gical parents divorce and one parent becomes involved in a same-sex relationship, a third party can be granted co-parent adoption rights without either biological parent having to give up his/her rights. Co-parent adoption seems to be the most effective way for gays and lesbians to acquire legla rights. Alaska, California, Minnesota, New York, Oregon, Vermont, Washington, District of Columbia, and Pennsylvania are states that have either already ruled on cases regarding co-parent adoptions or formally c ondone this type of adoption. There are only two general requirements in order to attain co-parent adoption rights: the legal parents and/or guardians must give their consent, and it must be found that the adoption will be in the child's best interest ( Collum 1,3). Co-parent adoption is perhaps the best way for gays and lesbians to acquire a child; however, it is not without it's problems. In a Florida case, two women who had been in a long term relationship had a child via artificial insemination. T he two women entered into a co-parent adoption. When the biological mother died, her parents sued the non-biological mother for custody of the 6-year-old child. Though the grandparents were in their seventies, and lived in a retirement neighborhood that didn't allow children, they still won custody ("Not" 1).

Advocates for gay and lesbian rights argue that in most cases the child lives a healthy, happy, normal life. Liberals feel that sexual orientation shouldn't be a basis for adoption. Gays and lesbians feel that they are entitled to the right of ra ising a child as much as any heterosexual couple is. Many gays argue that children aren't uncomfortable with their parents homosexuality, just with the way society views it. In a landmark case that made national headlines, a Virginia judge ruled two les bians as unfit parents based on the one and only fact that they were lesbians. Sharon Bottoms and her lover, April Wade, had raised Tyler for two years. Sharon had gotten divorced after having Tyler, and April and Sharon had lived as though Tyler were t heir own. Sharon's mother Kay challenged their custody rights and won. After the court case went public, Sharon and April became national symbols. All the Conservatives applauded the judge while the Liberals were outraged and exploited the case as bein g prejudiced (Henry III 66).

Conservatives argue that it is too hard for a child to grow up in an environment that society views as immoral. In a 1989 Time Magazine-CNN poll, 17% of people feel that gay couples should be given legal adoption rights, 75% people oppose this ide a, with 8% remaining uncertain (Harris A1). Many psychologists speculate that girls brought up by lesbians may have difficulty in intimate relationships with men, and males raised by lesbians may be unsure of their masculinity (Kolata 7).

The Roman Catholic Church blatantly opposes gay and lesbian adoption because it isn't part of God's natural order, states Charlie Curran, a Catholic priest and professor (Kolata 8). God created Adam and Eve, not Eve and Eve or Adam, and Adam. For most religious groups this is a moral issue above all else (Kolata 8).

In most cases everyone just wants what is best for the child. This raises the question of whether or not being raised in a same-sex dominated environment will have a psychological effect on the child. The fact still remains that the traumas and h ardships faced by both the parents and the children of gay and lesbian households will be totally different from those faced by heterosexual families. This is why many gay and lesbian families keep their family structure so secretive, to avoid the commen ts, teasing, and publicity surrounding their private lives. Though we all recognize the fact that the traditional view of the family has been altered significantly, can the family be altered to that much of an extent?

It is estimated that the number of children being raised by gay or lesbian parents is between 2 and 6 million. It is extremely hard to get an accurate estimation due to the fact that many gays and lesbians are not open about their family structure . These people do not want to be surveyed for fear of losing their children. In a population where roughly 10% or 25 million people are reported to be homosexual, the numbers of those raising children are outstanding (Collum 1).

In a society that is drastically changing every day, the amount of moral and ethical issues seem virtually endless. Many older generations argue that the future of our country is in great trouble because of the children today. Our country is not in trouble because of the children today, it is the way that children are being raised today. Many sociologists argue that children aren't just raised by their parents, but by an entire society. If this is in fact true, then how will a child raised by g ay or lesbian parents turn out? More importantly is the question of how society will treat and respond to a child brought up by gays or lesbians. Peers are almost guaranteed to tease and taunt the child about parents' lifestyle. School and community of ficials are more likely to have a prejudice or biased view against the child. When a child is involved in any situation, not only in school, but in the community as well, the situation is immediately put in a more elevated position. The effect that abno rmal situations have on children can traumatize them for years. In extreme cases, some adults never fully recover from traumas faced by them during childhood.

Studies are now focusing on the biological causes of homosexuality. Homosexuality has become a classic "nature vs. nurture battle." Either way, a child living in a gay/lesbian environment will ultimately be affected. The question isn't whether biology is involved, but how it is involved. Psychological phenomena and biology are ultimately related (Byne 13).

Despite the court rulings and society's opinions, gays and lesbians are acquiring children. Whether it is from a previous heterosexual marriage gone bad, artificial insemination, an agreement between a gay and lesbian, or co-parent adoption, gays and lesbians will continue to fight for their rightrs and find ways to create a family of their own. Studies are constantly being done to attempt to find the effects on the children of these families. Results of these types of studies vary. It is hard to make accurate assumptions based on the fact that many gay and lesbian families live in secret. We are on the right track with gaining acceptance of homosexual lifestyles, but society still has a long way to go. If in fact it has come down to a battle of morals and ethics, then this is a virtual no-win situation. The battle will continue to be a he-said/she-said argument. The gays and lesbians won't give up on their grounds and neither will the rest of society. This issue is full of conflicting vie ws and sides that for every pro, a con can be found, and vice versa. The complexity of the conflicting morals provides the basis for an ongoing argument.

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First Class

A Journal of Student Writing

The Best of Core 101 and 102 at Duquesne University 1997-1998

The Best of Core 101 and 102
at Duquesne University
1997-1998